Index Page of Mirth and Celebration!

Welcome, ladies and gentleman, to the fantastic and highly entertaining website called Ultimate Faleure. Ultimate Faleure is the rationalized insanity of a 20-year-old Canadian with way too much free time on his hands! After years of struggling to produce the greatest website ever made it took a highly skilled staff of 1000 monkeys chained to 1000 typewriters and the translation services provided by Alta Vista's Babel Fish Translator to at last produce this site!

You will tremble at the tantalizing riches laid before you! Visit the main site to see lots of idiotic randomness! See comic books about a borderline psychotic guy who exacts fanatical vengeance on his enemies! Love the section about books featuring talking dinosaurs and people throwing a big party that would make Darwin jealous on an island somewhere in the middle of the ocean! Scoff and become annoyed at my continuous abuse of exclamation points and the bold lettering that inexplicably comes with Ultimate Faleure! See the sprawling epic project that is lovable British stormtrooper Major Galimar's saga! This is just a taste of the dark side! You are strong child, but I will break you! You mean you don't know, REVAN?! YOU SPOILED LITTLE JEDI PRINCESS!

In general, this site will always be an alarmingly random collection of stuff I just decided to throw up on my Tripod space one day for the sheer heck of it. You may find something you like here, but if not, perhaps your time would be better spent acquiring the prototype swoop accelerator for us?

SIDE EFFECTS OF ULTIMATE FALEURE: Headache, runny nose, runny bowels, runny legs, no legs, no arms, spontaneous griffin dismemberment, brain faleure, sexual attraction to fire, nasal congestion, explosive diarrhea, urge to kill, homelessness, unemployment, severe sexual side effects, motor oil performance issues, urge to watch motor racing sports, zebraism (you turn into a zebra), and mild and advanced forms of not being alive. In some rare cases Ultimate Faleure results in complete and total destruction of the universe. Consult your doctor to see if Ultimate Faleure is right for you. (It isn't.)

By the by, if you're curious as to how you get around this place, I will now tell you. There's that bar on top that has different links on it. Go look right now if you need to. I'll wait. Okay, see it? That bar up top takes you to different "SECTIONS" while the "NAVIGATION" on the left there takes you to "PAGES" under the "SECTIONS." Pretty easy, hey? Of course it is. Now off you go! Go!